My Journey Into Motherhood

Working with children in childcare centres and as a Primary School Teacher for over ten years, I was under the assumption that looking after one baby on my own would be a breeze. My pregnancy was super easy, I only really experienced food aversions and was able to carry on working right up to giving birth.

I had absolutely no idea what I was in for but I was blissfully naïve.

I feel like I had quite a traumatic birth experience (induction one month early, super quick labour, no golden hour and then bub sent to the NICU for two weeks). I feel this greatly impacted my postpartum journey.

The first two weeks of motherhood I spent in survival mode. My days were spent sitting in the NICU room with up to 10 other babies and their families, coming home to express every three hours and then doing it all over the next day.

I was bombarded with information and advice from all the different midwives in the hospital that was often conflicting and left me feeling helpless.

When I finally got to take my baby girl home I was OBSESSED with tracking everything. How long her feeds were, how many mils of her bottle she took, how long she slept for, when she poo’d and even what consistency it was. This was just a carry on from the time in the NICU.

Looking back on it now, I feel like I decided to make up for all the lost time and cuddle my babe every moment I could. Once I relaxed a bit I absolutely LOVED being in that newborn bubble. I don’t think I left the house for about five weeks and I did not care one bit. It was just me and my girl x

I’m not quite sure when it hit, but I developed PND that was only picked up months down the track. I remember sobbing in the shower to my partner that I needed help but I didn’t even know what help I needed. I probably just needed to be told I was doing an awesome job!

My little one was a highly sensitive bub, that just wanted to be held most of the time, including for every sleep. I thought that this meant that I was doing something wrong. In reality - she was doing everything right and society had it backwards. Babies are wired for connection!

I wish I had prepared for my postpartum journey a little better. If I had of known I would of built my village, prepared healthy meals for myself, prioritized my self care, scheduled me time to fill up my cup.

ve to do it all because you are the mum. It feels hard because it is hard! We were never meant to raise children on our own.